Zvonit chukcha v Politbiuro ZK KPSS:
- Allo, ya hochu stat' chlenom Politbiuro.  Chto dlya etogo nuzhno?
Emu otvechaiut:
- Vy chto, idiot?
- A eto obyazatel'no?

                        * * *

Na vstreche delegazii SShA i SSSR zashel spor o gerbe SSSR.
- Esli vam ne nravitsya nash gerb, - govorit odin iz delegatov ot SSSR, - to
chto vy predlagaete vzamen?
- Amur so strelami.
- ?!!!
- Golyi, vooruzhen do zubov i vsem svoiu lubov' predlagaet.

Prixodit odin partrabotnik k vrachu i govorit:
Doktor, u menia narushen pishevaritel'niy process,
ya esli em semgu, sru semgoy; em ikru - sru ikroy;
em balychok - sru balychko...

Doktor: A vy poprobuyte est' to chto ediat prostie
sovetskie trudiashiesia.

Quote: "A usual product cycle in global economy is a three-
stage process: 
Stage 1. Americans announce that they made a major technolo-
gical breakthrough.
Stage 2. Russians in an official response claim that they 
made the same invention 20 years ago.
Stage 3. Japanese begin to export a product based on the new
technology."